It's Okay to Try

"There is no sin in failing. The sin is in not trying." - Paula Deen

This sniglet of wisdom was preserved by my wife. So many books have been written with the basic theme of "Do or do not - there is no try." They use the analogy of the pen: put a pen down on the desk. Now try to pick it up. Did you pick it up? I didn't tell you to pick it up, I told you to try. Put it back down. Try to pick it up. Did you pick it up? No? I didn't tell you to leave it there, I told you to try to pick it up. They use this as an example of the impossibility of try. What they miss with this analogy is the power of intention.


Intention is everything. If you never intend to pick the pen up, it will forever remain on the desk. If you intend to pick it up - and fail, what then? Well, that depends on your intention. You see, the example cited above rests upon the belief that your intention is to pick up the pen, no matter what. But sometimes, our intentions change.


Many would cry out that changing your intention is failure. I disagree. For most of us, when we change our intent, it is because we have become aware of a higher intention - one that is more important than the one which we have let go.


For example, my son just graduated from BYU with a BA in Japanese. That wasn't his first major. As is the case with most college students, he started in one field and changed to another. Does that mean that he failed as a music major? No. It means that after trying the music major program, he realized that there was something else for which he had more drive, desire and intent - learning and mastering Japanese. His higher intention was to graduate in a field that he loved, not to never give up.


Okay, maybe I'm splitting hairs. But it really bothers me when I see so many people not even make an attempt at something because they are so afraid of failure! Most people would rather leave the pen on the table rather than give it a shot and see if they like holding a pen instead.


It's like the old story of a person who goes into Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors Ice Cream store. The clerk asks what they want, and they say vanilla. The clerk points out all of the other wonderful flavors and then asks the all-important question, "Would you like to try a sample?" The customer says, no, I just want vanilla. The clerk then asks, "Have you ever tried anything but vanilla?" to which the customer replies, "No, I just like vanilla."


Now most of us will take all the free samples we can get! Why? Because it is in sampling and trying new things that we either discover that for which we are best suited, or we reach a firmer conviction for that which we have already chosen.


I was talking with a co-worker yesterday. He has lived for several years in Austria and Germany. On a whim, I asked him what his favorite German food was, and he replied sauerbraten. I shuddered. "I hate that stuff," I said. He replied, "Have you ever tried it?" I said, "Yes, three times - and I didn't like it, not matter what was poured over the top of it!"


See, if the customer in the ice cream shop had replied to the clerk that they had tried many flavors and were willing to try another and then, in spite of it all, still chose vanilla, one would say that the person had made the best choice for them.


There is no sin in starting college and never finishing. College isn't for everyone. There is no sin in starting college, dropping out for 20 years and then finishing in a completely different major. The sin would be in saying, "I would like to try college," only to have someone say, "Do or do not, there is no try," thereby scaring the would-be college student away because they feared the possibility that they would fail.


There is no sin (and therefore no shame) in failure. The sin is not trying. Without experimentation, we never experience life.