It's Okay to Try

"There is no sin in failing. The sin is in not trying." - Paula Deen

This sniglet of wisdom was preserved by my wife. So many books have been written with the basic theme of "Do or do not - there is no try." They use the analogy of the pen: put a pen down on the desk. Now try to pick it up. Did you pick it up? I didn't tell you to pick it up, I told you to try. Put it back down. Try to pick it up. Did you pick it up? No? I didn't tell you to leave it there, I told you to try to pick it up. They use this as an example of the impossibility of try. What they miss with this analogy is the power of intention.


Intention is everything. If you never intend to pick the pen up, it will forever remain on the desk. If you intend to pick it up - and fail, what then? Well, that depends on your intention. You see, the example cited above rests upon the belief that your intention is to pick up the pen, no matter what. But sometimes, our intentions change.


Many would cry out that changing your intention is failure. I disagree. For most of us, when we change our intent, it is because we have become aware of a higher intention - one that is more important than the one which we have let go.


For example, my son just graduated from BYU with a BA in Japanese. That wasn't his first major. As is the case with most college students, he started in one field and changed to another. Does that mean that he failed as a music major? No. It means that after trying the music major program, he realized that there was something else for which he had more drive, desire and intent - learning and mastering Japanese. His higher intention was to graduate in a field that he loved, not to never give up.


Okay, maybe I'm splitting hairs. But it really bothers me when I see so many people not even make an attempt at something because they are so afraid of failure! Most people would rather leave the pen on the table rather than give it a shot and see if they like holding a pen instead.


It's like the old story of a person who goes into Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors Ice Cream store. The clerk asks what they want, and they say vanilla. The clerk points out all of the other wonderful flavors and then asks the all-important question, "Would you like to try a sample?" The customer says, no, I just want vanilla. The clerk then asks, "Have you ever tried anything but vanilla?" to which the customer replies, "No, I just like vanilla."


Now most of us will take all the free samples we can get! Why? Because it is in sampling and trying new things that we either discover that for which we are best suited, or we reach a firmer conviction for that which we have already chosen.


I was talking with a co-worker yesterday. He has lived for several years in Austria and Germany. On a whim, I asked him what his favorite German food was, and he replied sauerbraten. I shuddered. "I hate that stuff," I said. He replied, "Have you ever tried it?" I said, "Yes, three times - and I didn't like it, not matter what was poured over the top of it!"


See, if the customer in the ice cream shop had replied to the clerk that they had tried many flavors and were willing to try another and then, in spite of it all, still chose vanilla, one would say that the person had made the best choice for them.


There is no sin in starting college and never finishing. College isn't for everyone. There is no sin in starting college, dropping out for 20 years and then finishing in a completely different major. The sin would be in saying, "I would like to try college," only to have someone say, "Do or do not, there is no try," thereby scaring the would-be college student away because they feared the possibility that they would fail.


There is no sin (and therefore no shame) in failure. The sin is not trying. Without experimentation, we never experience life.

A Life Unexamined...

One of the most famous sayings by Socrates is, "An unexamined life is not worth living." Or so we are told, since Socrates himself didn't write anything. I agree completely. However, I also believe that a reflected image of that statement is equally valid: A life not lived is not worth examining.

We, as a society already accept this as fact. Do we bother to examine or emulate the lives of those who live out their lives without the spark of life - those who breathe and function, but who do not live? No, we only reflect upon and study the lives of those who have lived life and left a legacy.

This doesn't mean someone who is famous, or even important. But they lived for more than just being alive. One great example is Joshua Terry, one of my wife's ancestors. Let me share with you some of the ways that he lived.

Joshua Terry was converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and at the age of 22, made the trek across the plains of the United States to the Salt Lake Valley. Just out of his teens, he walked - not rode - over 1500 miles - because of what he believed!

He later became a pioneer to Idaho and Wyoming. Along the way, on freezing in a storm he found shelter in the hollow of a coffin shaped rock. Later that night, he was visited by a bear which crawled in for shelter as well. The two slept side-by-side, and their shared body heat kept Joshua alive. In the morning before daylight, the bear left him unharmed.

Later, he was found almost dead from starvation by an old Indian woman and her son, who nourished him back to health. During his recovery, the young Indian brave spit in Joshua's ear, saying that he hoped that someday Joshua would come to understand their language.

Upon reaching Wyoming he became fast friends of the famous trapper-explorer, Jim Bridger. Bridger. One day, not long after, Joshua was out on the range, hunting horses to tame. As he stood on a hill scanning the valley below, he heard a great rushing sound and turned to see that he was surrounded by Indian warriors.

They took him captive and decided that they would scalp and burn him. In preparation for the event, the Indians danced around him with frenzied voice, throwing their tomahawks at his head. At the height of the "festivities" one brave, the leader of the war party, drew his knife and advanced on Joshua, prepared to take his scalp.

Just then, another band of Indians was seen coming around the hill. The chieftain of this band was none other than the young brave who had spit in his ears years ago. The young chieftain went into council with the other warriors. He was finally freed from his bindings, but was imprisoned in one of the tents under close guard. During this time a young girl had the task of bringing him food and water, and they became friends.

Her and the young chieftain told Joshua that the Indians were planning to attack the Mormons. They told him that he was to warn Brigham Young, and that he only had a few moons to get to Salt Lake City and back. Alone and on foot, he was sure he would never make it in time. But, halfway along the way, there was his Indian friend with horses and supplies.

He made the journey in time, and the message he brought back to the Indians from Brigham Young pleased them so much that they gave Joshua his freedom and a short time later he married the Indian girl. One time, he was bitten by a rattlesnake and not expected to live. In grief, his wife ate a poison root because she didn't want to live without him. She died, and he recovered to go on alone.

Such is a life worth examining. With all of his wanderings and difficulties, many in this day and age would call such a man a vagabond and worthless. However, nobody can deny that he lived. He did what he thought was right and pushed through great difficulty along the way.

Living life means that you look forward with hope and faith from one day to the next. You accept the challenges that come your way as part of being alive. You face them as best you can, and you do the best you can do. Sometimes, this isn't good enough - Joshua couldn't save his Indian bride. Other times, it contains the seeds of greatness.

Joshua later became a leader of the community of Draper, Utah and his son became Mayor and later the most respected man in South Salt Lake County. His house still stands today as a visitor center and historic site.

The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life unlived is certainly not worth examining - with the exception of examination for the prospect of change. This is the miracle that all of us can enjoy - the ability to change.

Yesterday I watched my son walk across the stage at  BYU's Marriott Center to received his diploma. During that ceremony, a young girl in her twenties also walked across the stage to receive her diploma - followed by her mother who also received her diploma! It is never too late to do that which you have always wanted and desired to do.

Live life. Love life and be worth examination and emulation.

Younger Generations

I was walking through the mall yesterday and saw an advertisement above a soda vending machine from Pepsi which read, "Every Generation Refreshes the World". The words - not the advertisement - resonated with me. Every generation refreshes the world.

With the birth of each new child, the world is refreshed because humanity is renewed. When a newborn first opens her eyes, she sees the world with a fresh perspective. When a toddler takes his first steps, he his making strides in a new direction.

Each new generation sees the world into which it was born, and at some point asks, "Is this all there is? Isn't there a better way?" And then they go to work to find it.

We live in a day and age that is faced with monumental challenges. The world is in upheaval, physically - earthquakes, storms and tsunamis; morally - freedom of choice has become confused with freedom from consequence; and financially - entitlement and instant gratification have pushed economies to the brink. And yet the up and coming generation sees these challenges and demands, "There must be a better way!"

Often, it is us, the older generation that get in the way of our younger people. Yes, we must give guidance and direction. Many would say that we must set boundaries. I suggest that we should explain the need for boundaries both in word and example, and allow them to set boundaries for themselves. In other words, help them understand that if they cross certain boundaries, the consequences will be beyond their control and will have disastrous results.

We must allow them to fail when failure will not have lasting consequences. They need to learn that through failure, they discover the path to success. It is when we shelter them so much that we limit their horizons that they learn to live in fear and hate.

Fortunately, technology is making it easier for youth to learn for themselves what the consequences of bad (and good) choices will be. They learn from the mistakes of others and from the lives of our own generation.

There are those who feel that the up and coming generation is a sign of the end of humanity. I say that it is a bright and shining example of renewal and refreshing change. Because, after all, every generation refreshes the world.

Technical Malfunction - Or User Malfunction - Take your Pick!

I apologize for the lack of any new posts lately. I have had some technical difficulties which I hope will be solved soon. I actually had just about completed posting a new - full length blog today and with one misplaced finger on my keyboard, it disappeared. I will have the blog reposted tomorrow or the next day. Thanks for hanging in there with me!

Reflections in Other People

My wife and I were watching Undercover Boss last night. It is a TV show wherein CEOs, COOs and Presidents of major corporations go undercover, posing as an entry-level employee in their own firms to see what it is like to work for the company.

The COO that was presented last night said something after having a very moving experience with one of his employees that was golden - so I wrote it down. And then I realized that I have a gift. I would guess that 99.999% of the people watching that show heard the same words that I did, but failed to immediately understand how important they were. That is my gift. I have the ability to quickly recognize and assimilate those little comments that people make that are profound - even when they are not aware that what they just said was profound.

I thought that everyone could do this. But over the years I've come to realize that most cannot. It may be because they are not looking for these nuggets of wisdom. Or it may be that they are listening with their ears only, and not with their hearts.

The statement that he made was, "It's a real irony of life that you learn so much about yourself from other people." What an incredible statement! And he just said it in passing, almost as an afterthought. That might be what happens to a lot of us. We are so concerned about saying the right things that the important things are afterthought.

It is true that you learn much about who you are and what your values are from other people. Our thoughts and feelings respond to the thoughts and feelings of others that are in harmony with us. And it doesn't take anything away from us - it only adds. Like two candle flames placed close to one another. They merge and make and even brighter point of light. And yet each is still individual and distinct. The Korean people have a saying to explain this phenomena, "Im Shim Joem Shim" - "Spark from heart to heart".

This is another way of saying that our inner world is reflected in our outer world. Or that our outer world is an indication of our inner world. The inner creates the outer - not the other way around. Because our inner world defines us and makes us who we are, it seeks out and finds those whose inner worlds correspond to ours. If our inner world is filled with bitterness, fear and doubt, then we will inevitably attract others into our lives who have the same things going on inside, and suddenly, our outer world is bitter, fearful and full of doubts.

When we are filled with love, faith and hope, then we attract others into our lives who have the same feelings, and our outer worlds reflect this inner light. This does not mean, of course, that we will not be burdened from time to time with trails, difficulties and even tragedies; they are all part of the great human experience. However, when faced with these challenges, because we have love, faith and hope, we rise to the occasion and our best self is revealed.

Does that mean that we will always conquer? No. My wife still deals with stomach and digestive problems. I still walk with a limp. But both of us do not let what we are experiencing define who we are. We let our inner worlds be filled with all that we desire, and even when faced with trials, we feel that we can, eventually, overcome. It may not happen until we leave this life, but we believe - we have faith - that it will do so.

Yes, it is a great irony in life that we learn so much about ourselves from other people. And yet, it is a great blessing that we do. When we see ourselves mirrored in the lives and expressed beliefs of others, we can either accept what we see or seek to change it. And change comes, not by attempting to change the image that the other person has projected on us, but by changing ourselves so that the mirror of other people reflects that which we value and desire.

If there are those in your life who are reflecting negativity at you, look inside yourself and find that which is negative. Get rid of it. When you do, your attitude and countenance will change. When that happens, those who wish to continue to cling to their negativity will depart from you, and you will let them go with love and hope for their future. You will not hold ill-will, because you will have changed your inner world in such a way that you can let go without hurt, because you will no longer be trapped by fear.

Nothing is Everything

Nothingness, empty space, everything that isn't anything - defines everything else. Have I lost you yet? Okay, try this: Nothing is Everything. No? Perhaps I should explain.

In your minds eye I want you to picture a vase. Now consider the material of which it is made. Perhaps it's crystal, porcelain or glass. Now smash it with a hammer - is it still crystal, porcelain or glass? Yes. Is it a vase? No. You see, what made it a vase was not the vase itself, but the emptiness inside the shape of the vase.

One could argue that it is the shape of the vase that defines it. True; but only when that shape is filled with nothingness. If it were filled with vase material - crystal, porcelain or glass - it would be a very heavy paperweight.

Okay, here is another example. Music. If you were to ask someone what makes music... well, music, they would most likely say the notes. However, they would be wrong. What makes sound into music is the silence between the notes. One, never-ending, sustained note - or chord - is not music. It is noise.

It is the invisible, the intangible and the untouchable that makes everything what it is. Consider a dollar bill. The only thing that gives it value is something that you can't touch. Because the only thing that gives any money value is what can be done with it.

And the same is true for all of us. We are not defined by our flesh - warts and all. We are defined by our souls, our minds and our spirits. When I see how strongly society wants to define and give worth to someone by how they look and what they where, I shudder. Worse yet, I cringe when I see others accept these definitions and ideas as true.

Some time ago my wife was watching a reality show - man, those things are everywhere! This show was called (I think) Real Beauty. It was a beauty contest wherein the contestants were brought in to compete for the title "World's Most Beautiful Person", and the winner would receive $100,000 and have their photo in People Magazine's "100 Most Beautiful People" edition.

I don't like that edition. Why? Because the only people that they feature are those that are judged to have the perfect physical appearance. However, the reality show had a fun twist. Each week, the contestants would be faced with a moral dilemma and they were judged, not on their physical appearance, but on how they showed moral courage, kindness and compassion. I thought that was pretty neat - the contestants who were booted out each week were told of the real purpose of the contest, and it was amazing how many of them had attitudes of, "Well, I don't care what you say, I am the most beautiful person in the world - I have flawless skin, a perfect body...." blah, blah, blah.

Of course, none of the contestants were overweight, had acne or were going bald.

As humans we tend to judge ourselves much too harshly. If someone has a pimple on their forehead, they judge that entire pimple as what they look like - and then compare it to the whole person standing next to them. We all have a desperate need to be accepted. Please know that you are accepted - warts, pimples, bad breath and all. You are the perfect you. Why? Because YOU are not your body.

You are the invisible, intangible and untouchable that resides within your body. Look at all of the homes in your community. Are all of them the same size, shape, color or layout? Do they all have the same landscaping? No, of course not. But it isn't those things that makes these houses into homes. It is the people who live in it - their hopes, dreams, fears, successes and failures that make a house a home.

And here is the miracle. When what is inside the home is good, loving and supportive, all those who reside therein love their home. If all that is inside of you is good, loving and supportive, all those who reside therein will love you. That means you and all those whom you carry with you in your mind, heart and soul. They all love and accept you - warts, pimples, bad breath and all.

You are not the mortal expression of your current state. You are the immortal being that is currently experiencing mortality. And what an experience!

Be all that you can be with who you are. Love your invisible self. It is everlasting and grander than anything you can imagine. After all, it doesn't have to worry about pimples, a few extra pounds or hair loss.

My Friends

I recently bought a book and read of a fascinating true-life experience. Imagine my surprise when the author spoke of his wife, calling her by name - and it was a name I recognized. I said to myself, "Self, do you really think that there are two people who have that same unique name?" To which myself replied, "I doubt it, look in the back at the author's profile and see if it reveals anything." So I did, and sure enough, it was the same girl I knew in high school.

No, she wasn't my girlfriend, although, at the time, she could make my heart go pitter-pat. She was the head cheerleader. And unlike the spiteful shallow, vindictive and competitive harpies that are portrayed by Hollywood, she was very nice. She was nice to everyone - even me.

And that got me thinking back on how many people have touched my life and left a lasting impression. Some of these people are still very much a part of my life, others have passed from the stage of interaction with me. But all have played their part, and now they are a part of me.

I suppose one should wonder if they would remember me as well as I remember them. But it's not important to me. I don't care if they remember me, because their memories are just that - their memories. They don't hurt me or help me in any way. I am content to let them have and enjoy the memories that they cherish. I will keep mine for me.

All of us interact with others and each soul that we touch is likewise touched by us. It is in this interaction that we can come to know more fully who we are. Because, you see, it is that which we admire in others that defines who we are striving to become - or who we have already become.

I remember this cheerleader because, at the time, she represented a good person to me; one who accepted others as they were without judgment and bigotry. And, SURPRISE! That is one of the traits that I still strive for; one that I hope defines me.

I remember another person that has influenced me, although I have never met him, because he was such an influence on my wife. I feel that I know at least part of him. I know his right arm. KIDDING! No, what I mean is that my wife talks about his abundant sense of humor, and how he was always the one who could make others laugh. His name was Scott. I first "met" Scott - or a least his memory - on the day he died.

Many years ago, my wife received a phone call from one of her high school friends telling her that Scott, who had been diagnosed with cancer shortly before, had passed away. My wife cried and shared with me many memories of this red headed class clown. She told of experiences that she had watching and interacting with him. Not all were positive - evidently, he could be mean. But these memories were muted and filtered by time.

All of us are like pebbles in a pond, and the ripples we create as we move through this life can be far reaching. Think back over your lifetime and pause for a moment to reflect on those whom you have admired and liked. Not only will you feel the same warm glow that you felt when you first interacted with them, but you will rekindle your desire to acquire those same traits. If these traits are now a part of who you are, then they will be reaffirmed as being right for you.

It has been said that we, as humans, are the sum-total of all of our experiences. I disagree - sort of. I say that we are the sum-total of all of our experiences and the relationships we have with others. Because, you see, these are the only things we take with us when we leave this life - our memories and our relationships.

Yes, our relationships. If we recognize another person in this life and we enjoy their company, then how would it be possible for us to not recognize them in the afterlife? That doesn't make sense! And if we saw this person as a friend and a companion in mortality, why wouldn't we do likewise in eternity? The answer, of course, is that we would.

And that is where forgiveness can make eternity a heaven or a hell. There are, inevitably, those who have hurt us in this life - either through purposeful intention or by accident. It doesn't really matter. If we see this person as "the enemy" - someone to be hated and feared, then how will we feel about them in the eternities?

Forgiveness allows us to let go of the hate and find compassion. We let go of the anger, the hurt and the fear and we feel sorry for them. Not in a condescending way, but in a manner that makes us want to reach out and help them be a better person. We may never see this person again - ever. But because we no longer have hate in our hearts, we can feel love - we can be love. And that is the way I want to spend my eternity - filled with love.

Ahh, memories. Like fine wine, they get better with age. My friends from long ago visit me in my memories and (sometimes) in my dreams. We laugh and play as we did then, and I am filled with the enthusiasm and life of my youth. What a great gift these people have left with me, all unintended, that can lift my spirits and make a rainy day seem like an adventure rather than a chore.

Everyone Complains About Getting Older

Everyone complains about growing older, but it's a whole lot better than the alternative!

Admittedly, I am only 46 years old. Now for those of you in your twenties, you're saying to yourself, "Only?" But those of you who are in your sixties, you understand what I am saying. I am only 46 years old - and getting older. And here's the miracle - I don't mind. In fact, I enjoy it.

Here's why. When I was in my twenties, I enjoyed a healthy body, stamina, strength and the ability to push my physical body in any endeavor. I had no wrinkles and all of my hair. But I lacked several things that make getting older a much better trade-off - I got the better end of the deal.

In trade for all of those physical attributes I gained a wife, two children, two in-law children and wisdom. A person's intelligence has much to do with their DNA, their upbringing and their schooling. But one can acquire wisdom in only one way - to grow older.

When I was younger, I was full of fire and vinegar, but I had some rather common fears. I feared, above all, growing older and death. I was afraid that I would die young and leave no legacy - no children behind to carry on my personality. Ironic, isn't it? The thing that would wake me up in a cold sweat is now the thing that I am celebrating - my age!

I have lived. That's what you get when you grow older - a life. You get to live. How you live is up to you, and everyday gives you a brand new start on the path you choose to walk for the rest of your life. You live and you learn. And you gain wisdom.

My son is a genius. Now I know that a lot of parents say that about their kids. I am not bragging - I am stating a fact. When he was 5 years old, my wife and I were called by the elementary school and asked if we could meet the next day with the principal of the school. Now no parent wants to get that kind of a call, but the secretary assured us that it wasn't because my son was in trouble.

When we arrived the next day and entered his office there were four school administrators waiting for us, and the first thought that went through my mind was, "What did that kid do?" After we were seated, the principal thanked us for coming and turned the meeting over to my son's teacher.

She asked if we were aware that our son could read. Of course we were aware - we taught him how to read. Then the school reading tutor asked if we knew at what grade level he was reading. I looked at my wife and her eyes questioned mine. No, we replied, we didn't know. She then stunned us by reporting that after several tests, she could show that he was reading at an 8th grade level. He was 5 years old!

Then the other administrator spoke up and identified herself as the school district psychologist. She said that she would like to have his IQ tested. After a lengthy discussion, we agreed. The results? At the age of 5, his IQ score was 162 - genius level.

The psychologist further stated that his IQ was most likely higher, but many of the questions at the higher levels made assumptions about the experience level of the person being tested, and that because he was inexperienced about the world, he missed questions that he would probably have understood. Yep, we had to raise a son who was certifiably smarter than either of us!

It wasn't so bad until he turned about 13 and realized that he was smarter than us. Then he began challenging us, using very sophisticated arguments and logic, trying to attack our rules and expectations. Finally, I realized something that saved us, and to a degree, I believe our relationship. He might be smarter than me, but he would never be wiser than me, because there is only one way to get wisdom - you gotta live!

I sat him down and explained my position, and surprisingly, he agreed. We agreed at that point to respect one another more and to listen to one another more. We also agreed to realize that disagreement did not mean disrespect and that we would be able to work everything out.

He has a younger sister, and she is just as smart. Yep, I had that same talk with her, too.

So many people regret getting older because they sense the loss of vitality and physical ability - even physical desirability. Some even look so far into the future as to fear death. I no longer fear either.

Last fall, when I almost lost my life, I realized that death isn't the end and that I will have much to look forward to in the great hereafter. Yes, it would be nice to be able to once again run and jump as I did when I was younger. But instead I climb higher mountains and run farther than I ever though possible in my mind.

My mind and my search for wisdom has taken me on more wondrous journeys and revealed to me more wonderful truths than my physical body ever could have. And when my time is up, whenever that may be, I know that my family will miss me and that I will long for the day when they can cross over and join me. But compared to eternity, what's a few years?

Everyone complains about getting older, but I think it would help to take inventory of all that you've gained along the way. Yes, a few wrinkles, several scars, a few pounds; but what are these compared to all else? Not much. Celebrate your journey and look forward to the rest of the trip. There is, after all, no going back.

Failure

I once attended a meeting wherein a very successful businessman was talking about success. He told the story of his sister, a woman who had spent most of her life strung out on drugs. She had just been released from rehab and had come to him for a job.

Because of her past history of rehab, regression and back again, he was reluctant to put her on the payroll. However, because he wanted to help, he made her a deal. He gave her a list of books - self-help books, for the most part - and said that for every book she read, he would pay her $100. However, just to make sure that she not only read the book, but that she understood it as well, she had to write a 3 page book report to get paid.

This continued for about a year, and towards the end, he was paying her more than he had expected every month. Finally, she told him that she didn't need his help anymore and went out and started her own business and is doing very well.

One day he asked her what she thought was the formula for success. She thought about it for a while and then responded with this formula: knowledge + persistence + ____________ = success. Can you guess what goes in the blank? It's not faith - faith gives you persistence. It's not hard work - that too, is covered by persistence. The answer is failure.

I left that meeting not remembering anything else the businessman said. But I pondered that formula for a very long time and decided to do my own research and see if she was right. I read biographies and autobiographies of hundreds of successful people. I read success-oriented books like Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The Science of Self Confidence by Brian Tracy and Superself by Charles Givens, as well as many of the works by Stephen Covey, Wayne Dyer and others. And guess what? She was right!

You see, so many of us believe that failure is the end. But it is not. Thomas J. Watson, the CEO of IBM, who adopted the trademark “THINK” was asked by a young reporter how one could increase the rate of their success. His reply, "If you want to increase your success rate, then you should increase your failure rate." In other words, don't be so afraid of failing that you never try at all.

Napoleon Hill states that if you don't succeed at something, it doesn't mean that you are a failure. It just means that your plans are not sound. Rethink your objectives, redo your plans, and try again.

I watched an episode of Oprah a few years ago. On her show, she presented 4 entrepreneurs who had achieved great success before the age of 35. Just before they went to a commercial break she asked them how many different businesses they had started before they were successful. When they came back, she stated, to a stunned audience that the average - not the total, but the average for each of the business owners was 19! On average, each one of them had started nineteen different businesses and failed before they were successful.

Of course, I am not advocating that we should applaud failure. I am advocating that we don't let our own failures define who we are. And even more importantly, don't let the failures of others cause you to define them. Failure is only temporary - all failure is temporary. All.

Even if one never overcomes their failures during their entire life, they will in the life hereafter. All failure is a learning tool. We don't learn from our successes - only to repeat what we have already done. But life is not stagnant - it is dynamic and changing. How many real estate investors collapsed when the market went down? Even those who achieved huge success suffered the loss of all they had - because the only thing in life that never changes is the fact that everything changes.

So our failures teach us how to adapt and overcome - unless we allow them to overcome us. When you get kicked down - when you fail - pick yourself up, dust yourself off and look life in the eye and say, "I will not quit!" Most people know that Winston Churchill's final address to Parliament consisted of only seven words. Leaning heavily on his cane, the man who led Great Britain through its most perilous hours spoke slowly into the microphone, "Never give up. Never, never give up!" He then returned to his seat.

All of us fail. Very few of us are failures. Throughout the history of mankind, only a handful of individuals could truly be called failures.

Have hope. Be not afraid and move forward with confidence that you will eventually figure it out. Someday, perhaps very soon, you will succeed. Life is like a roller coaster. It has its highs and its lows. It seems to move at breakneck speeds. We just need to hold on and enjoy the ride.