Faith is a Shovel

I am only One,

But I AM one.

I cannot do everything,

But I can do something.

All that I can do,

I ought to do.

All that I can do,

By the Grace of God,

I will do.

            -- Helen Keller

I have a saying, I don't know where I got it, but it goes like this: I wondered why somebody didn't do something. Then I remembered I am somebody!

I find it interesting how many people talk about faith; and yet fail to do. Faith is not a state of being it is a state of action. My brother used to tell me that if I were to have the faith to move a mountain, that I should get a shovel.

Great works - even small works - start with great faith. If we want more of anything in our lives we must have the faith necessary to make it so. In other words if you want more happiness, don't go looking for it - be it. Be happy. Have faith that you can be happy. Not every day. Not even all day. But just right now, this moment, for just a moment, be happy. I give you permission. You don't need my permission, you know!

If you want more love in your life, be love. How can anyone with a sour, sad, faithless disposition expect to have love when that are thus oriented? That would be like standing in a field at dawn and facing west and wondering, where is the sun? You see it all around you, but you can't see the sun - you are looking in the wrong direction. Look inside yourself and find your own love, be your own love, and other love - outside love will find you. You won't have to go looking for it, because it will already be there.

You cannot look to the outside world for those things you want (and need) in life. You have to look within first. You have to develop a faith that it will appear, and then be that which you desire. If you want to be a mountain mover, start shoveling. 

Our inner world - our inner dialog creates our outer reality. If we cannot see ourselves as happy, loving people, we cannot ever become so. If we cannot give love to those around us, we cannot receive the love others would give us.

As long as you believe that other people, events or conditions are necessary for you to have those things you want in life - you will never have them. You and you alone are responsible for who you are, what you believe and what you become. It is your divine right to set your own course.

The only exception to this is when your course would take that same right from another. We must learn to allow others their otherness. We must recognize that different is only that - different. As long as that difference does not disallow others their right to be different, then we must accept that their difference is okay.

Faith is belief in action. It is hope with legs. It is life with living. Have faith in yourself. Do those things that will allow you to be all that you wish to be.

Labels

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me." I must have said that every day during my grade school years. I was picked on - a lot. But even as I said it, I knew it wasn't true. It isn't true - never was. Names hurt. Labels hurt.

If we let them.

You see, now that I am no longer in grade school, I've come to realize that the only time someone else's comments can hurt me, make me angry, make me sad, or make me frustrated is if I allow them to.

Just because someone calls me stupid doesn't make me stupid. I didn't suddenly lose IQ when they said that. Can you imagine if that were the case? Someone says "you're stupid" and suddenly your IQ drops! I think within the course of a week all of us would have such low IQ's as to need institutionalized care!

Eleanore Roosevelt's statement (and I paraphrase) that no one can make us feel inferior without our permission is true. We need to recognize that when others put labels on us, it labels them - not us. All it proves is that they are someone who needs to label others. It doesn't prove that we are what they say we are.

Recognize that when others label, there is an intention behind the barb. What they call us is not nearly as important as why did they label us in the first place? What is going on inside them that they need to spit out this label? Are they feeling angry? Jealous? The barb is about them - not about you.

So what about the labels we give ourselves? What does it mean when we say to ourselves, "Lane, you're an idiot?" Like any other person saying it, just because the label has been placed, it doesn't change who I am - unless I allow it to.

You see, when someone spits out a label, it represents what's inside. To borrow an analogy from Dr. Wayne Dyer, when you squeeze an orange, what do you get? Orange juice. Why? Because that's what's inside!


If, when someone feels pressure, either from you or some other source, and it causes them to spit out a label, it does so because that's what's inside of them. Whatever emotion they carry around inside them that causes them to criticize and label others comes out when under pressure.

So what about the labels we put on ourselves? First of all, when you feel inclined to label yourself (or after the label is placed), ask yourself, what made me say that? What emotion was I feeling when I labeled myself? It was, I assure you, a negative emotion, most likely related to fear.

You were afraid of something, and that fear put pressure on you that caused you to spit out that label. The fear could be anything - fear of the criticism of others, fear of failure when compared to others, fear of offending others - the list is endless.

And here is the most wonderful part of the story - the miracle. You choose whether or not to accept the fear as real. Fear is a choice. You choose to accept it, you choose to believe it and you choose to let it label you.


The next time you feel the need to label - yourself or others, stop and question your emotions. You can control your emotions by just choosing to do so! No, it's not easy, but it is oh so worth it. Imagine how well you would feel - how well you would function, if instead of labeling yourself, you complimented yourself instead! How much better would your day be?


Just take it one moment at a time. Don't worry about the rest of the day, tomorrow or the rest of the year. Just think about the moment. Make a choice now that the next time you want to label yourself that you are going to choose another path, that you are going to let go of the negative emotion that spawned your label and seek instead an emotion based in love. Love for yourself, love for the world in which we live, love for your family, your fellow man (or woman); love of anything. It is impossible to create a label when you feel love.

Of Purpose and Chaos

Deepak Chopra explains chaos theory by using an example of Grand Central Station in New York. Imagine that you were able to look at the activities taking place at Grand Central Station - all of them. From the surface, everything seems chaotic; people are rushing here and there in a seemingly state of chaos. But at a much deeper level, we know that there is order to all of it. Every person that is rushing about - and those that are not - are doing that action for a reason. There is no chaos. Everything is happening for a reason.

In other words, according to chaos theory, there is no chaos at all! Everything that happens in life does so for a reason.

Why are you here? Not at this blog, but in existence? Why do you live right now in this moment of time? It is not chaotic; there is a reason - what is it? In other words, what is your purpose? Everything exists for a reason; a purpose. What is yours?

All of us, at one point or another, are faced with this question, and finding the answer is the adventure of a lifetime - literally. It is an exciting crusade of discovery and experience. It is a wondrous awareness that we seek. Man (or woman) know thyself. That is the task at hand.

One other clue about your purpose. It is unique. Your purpose is not the same as mine, just as two passengers at Grand Central Station hurrying toward the same train have different purposes; although they may travel together for a time, they have different reasons for being there. Your purpose is for you alone and it is vital. Vital because only you can accomplish it.

Know that you are here to accomplish something that only you can do. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering or history-making. But it has to be done. A perfect example of this is my father. From a materialistic and historical perspective, he didn't amount to much.

My father was born with a brain injury that left the right side of his body with palsy; unable to be used - or so the "experts" said. At a relatively young age - 32, I believe (I was very young - 3 or 4 years old), he injured his back and was totally disabled for the rest of his life. At one point he was addicted to pain pills and other narcotics prescribed indiscriminately by his doctors. He never held another job.

He died at the age of 66 from a brain tumor. After he was diagnosed and told that his condition was terminal, he shared with me some of the many regrets he had. How he had wanted to accomplish so much more with his life, and would now never have the opportunity. And then he shared the things that he wouldn't ever do different; things of which he felt accomplished and proud.

And here's the point. His life was not unfulfilled. He had accomplished his purpose - several of them, actually. One of which is me, writing this blog. Late night discussions had with my father as a teenager and young adult shaped my understanding of life, and set my feet upon a path of looking for that in life which cannot be seen, but which directs all that we do.

His sadness and regret - of which he was unaware - was that he never understood what his purpose was. He wanted to do things that would be historical and earth shattering. But that was not why he was here.

All of us are faced with this same difficulty. Finding out what our purpose in life might be, and the only way that I know to discover your purpose is to surrender. Give in to that hunch that you have inside you. Let out your inner, hidden voice. Give action to that which you feel deeply inside you.

Each of us has a unique, special blend of talents, thoughts, ideas and experiences that make us who we are. We simply need to get in touch with those things. I know it is not easy - believe me, I know. But it can be done. You will recognize your purpose because it will feel natural for you - you would do it (will do it in many cases) without reward or compensation. You will feel yourself touch that infinite source of all that is when you are engaged in your purpose.

Whatever forces have brought you to this point - here, right now, reading this blog - they have wanted you to receive this message. Perhaps it is one that you have heard before and one that you will have to hear many times yet to come before you allow your purpose to take life. It has taken me 46 years.

All my life I could sense and see things that others couldn't - or wouldn't - understand. I have read hundreds, possibly even thousands of articles, books and papers on self awareness, self improvement and making the journey within. And all of that was so that I could write this blog.

And here is the funny thing about it. The realization that this is a part of my purpose and what I am here for came to me in the bathtub! As sure as if I had been struck by lightning, I realized that I needed to start writing this blog. I didn't know if anyone would read it - still don't for that matter - but that wasn't important. I know that there is purpose in what I am doing, and I feel something inside that I wish I could just hand to everyone that I meet - JOY! Complete, total joy. I love this because I know that is is something that I am uniquely suited to do - that I am meant to do.

Whatever it takes; however long it takes; where ever your search takes you, find your purpose and let it loose.

Don't worry about what other's might think. Don't worry about whether or not it will "make a difference," because all things make a difference. My father made a difference - a great difference.

Questions

Our minds are amazing things. From the moment we are born (probably even before that), it seeks to understand the world around it. It seeks to answer questions.

We've all experienced a time that, when the lights are low, we see something that gives us a start, and the question that immediately is sent to our brains is, "What's that?" Not in words, but in feelings. It all happens so fast that we don't have time to put it into words.

And an amazing thing happens. Our brain gives us an answer - not always the right answer - but an answer, nonetheless. I noticed this as a universal human condition when, as a teenager, I saw the movie, On Golden Pond with Kathrine Hepburn and Henry Fonda.

In it, Norman and Ethel Thayer (Fonda and Hepburn) are surprised by a visit from their daughter, Chelsea (played by Jane Fonda - Henry Fonda's daughter) and her boyfriend, Billy Ray, and his son, Billy. That first night, Ethel and Chelsea decide to go skinny dipping in the lake and invite Billy Ray to come along. Billy Ray, a Los Angeles dentist slowly makes his way to the lake. He never arrives because he keeps stopping, fearfully peering into the darkness, trying to make sense of the dark shadows and shapes all around him. At one point, Ethel, wrapped in a robe and toweling her hair dry comes along the path and Billy Ray stops her and asks, pointing in the darkness, "Is... is that a bear?" Ethel laughs and says, "No. That would be a bush."

You see, Billy Ray's mind, trying to make sense of the world around it had reached the conclusion that the bush must be a bear. And here is the important part - Billy Ray's fear was the same for a bush as it would have been for a bear. It was the same!

So how important are the questions that we ask ourselves? Probably the most important questions that we will ever ask. If you ask yourself, "Why can't I do this?" your brain will go to work to find an answer, and it will find one - even if it is the wrong answer! You can reach conclusions that limit you and rob you of any chance of success, simply because you asked yourself the wrong question. 


What would have happened if you would have asked the question, "How can I make this work?" or "What do I need to do to get this right?" Your brain would devote its time and energy to answering those questions. Even if it takes a lifetime. You see, the other thing about the brain is that it never forgets a question that you pose to it. 


The questions we pose might lose out in priority to other needs and questions, but it is never forgotten. An example of this is when you are trying to remember someone's name and it just escapes you. You rack your brain for the answer to the question, "What is his name?" Finally the moment is passed and you no longer need the person's name, and what happens? Yep. The question is answered, and you remember the person's name.


So the next thing we must explore is how does the brain prioritize the questions posed to it? The answer is two-fold. Questions fueled by emotion take priority. The greater the emotion, the greater the priority. The other method of prioritizing is repetition. When you repeat the same question to your brain over and over, it gains greater and greater priority for your brain. When you repeat the same question with emotion, you have truly unlocked phenomenal power.

Always pay attention to the questions you ask yourself - before they are even formed in words, and ask those questions that will lift you and inspire you rather than depress and confuse you. Don't ask from a position of fear but ask from a position of confidence that, given enough time, your brain will find the answer - even if it takes years, you will get the answers you need to solve any problem.

Of Service and Love

There is a proverb that goes something like this:

If you want to be happy for an hour - take a nap...

If you want to be happy for a day - go fishing...

If you want to be happy for a year - inherit some money...

If you want to be happy for a lifetime - serve others.

I have never been able to be of service to someone else without developing a feeling of respect, friendship and love for that person. I better understand their lives and their needs and their souls. And that is miraculous.

What I always had difficulty with was allowing others to serve me. I don't hesitate (well, not too much) when called upon to do service, or when I see others that I can help. However, stubborn, ol' me just won't ask for help from others. What a shame. Thankfully, I have been forced to learn otherwise.

Last September I shattered my right tibial plateau and developed compartment syndrome - which I have explained in earlier postings. I found myself in a position where I could do nothing - well, very little - for myself. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without someone half-carrying me there.

Day after day, week after week, I had to rely on others to help me. I had those who helped me change my clothes, those who helped me care for my wounds, those who helped learn to walk again. And something wonderful happened. I found that I truly loved these men and women.

I know that helping me was part of their jobs as doctors, nurses and rehabilitation therapists. Nevertheless, they did something for me that I can never repay - they gave me my life back. How can I not love them?

Recently, I was in the area of the rehab clinic and the hospital where I was cared for. I had some time, and decided to visit my caregivers and express my gratitude. It was as if all the parts of the jigsaw puzzle of my life for the past 6 months came together to form a perfect picture.

I hugged each of them - without embarrassment or fear; after all, they had definitely seen me at my worst! And I thanked them for working with such dedication and faith in me. Tears were shed and smiles were big. Moreover, I could see the other patients - patients that were now in the same position I was in just a few months ago - looking at me with hope and trust.

Yep. Service engenders love. Let others serve you and you will have a friend for life. Serve others and you will be someone else's friend for life. It is service that will save us all - or condemn us, if we fail one another. I applaud Disney's current crusade to inspire 1 million people to do service. I hope that we all can seek ways to serve without a trip to Disneyland. Because when you truly serve, you are on the road to heaven anyway.

Your Infinite Worth

As Americans, we believe, as is stated in the Declaration of Independence, that all men are created equal. We tend to forget that the most important word in that belief is created, not equal. Whether you believe in a Divine Creator or not, you are a created being - your parents can attest to that.

At birth, we are all equally dependent upon others for our very survival. We depend on them for food, shelter and above all, love. We are loving organisms. We can feel deep within us that great emotion that gives life to living. Without love we may be alive, but we are not living.

The most important kind of love is love of self. And this is where equality stops and wonder can begin. Isn't it wonderful that you are different from every other human being? Isn't it wonderful that you have your own thoughts and ideas that are unique to you, and you alone?

Many people don't like being different. This is because they long for acceptance. The problem is that before they can ever feel accepted by any other person, they must accept themselves, as Cromwell said, "Warts and all." You are the perfect example of you. No one else can compare. You are special because you are one of a kind.

Of all of the cell configurations that came together to make you - WOW! It blows my mind to think of all the infinite possibilities - and those infinite possibilities made YOU! How great is that? There will never be another you. There will never be another being who has the necessary combinations of your DNA and your experiences, both seen and unseen.

Henry Marsh, a world-renowned track and field athlete once said to me, "You are the sum total of all your experiences." That means that everything you have gone through - the good and the bad - has molded and shaped you to become the unique and special person that you are.

Who wants to fit in when there is a space, a purpose, a reason for being that only you can fill? There are things that must be done - things that will set conditions and circumstances in motion that only you can do. Like the line of standing dominoes, if you aren't there to start the chain of events, nobody else will.

Do this. Stand in front of a mirror. Stop looking down at your waist or up at your hairline! Look in your eyes - no, don't look away. Keep looking. Look deeper. The shadows that haunt your soul and would hide your uniqueness fade away as you look into the mirrored reflection of your soul.

You're still in front of the mirror, right? Good. Stop comparing yourself to others - even your former self (you can't go back in time, no matter what Hollywood says). Look at the unique flecks of color contained in your irises (the colored part of your eye) - NOBODY has that same pattern (not even your identical twin). Look how the colors blend and harmonize. Your soul can and should be the same with your heart - in harmony.

Feel the love - let it out. Let go of your fear. Other loves in your life may fade, be taken tragically away or walk spitefully away from you - and this hurts like no other pain in the world. But the love you get from yourself will never leave you, it will never abandon you. You can trust your heart to yourself - it will be in good hands. Love yourself and you will feel yourself respond with love for you.

I know that it sounds like I am talking about two different people, and in a way, I am. You are a combination of the person you are when you are with the world, and the person you are when you are with yourself. Realize that yourself will always support you, love you and be there for you. You will never, never be alone.

If you could only see yourself the way the universe sees you! You are a god or goddess - unique and powerful of thought and emotion. Your inner world is your domain of magic and power. Always take time to spend time with yourself - your true self. Who cares what everyone else thinks? As long as you love yourself and yourself loves you - who cares?

High School Miracle

The following is told by a retired high school principal.

"I once attended a swim meet at the local high school. It was a relay meet, meaning all of the races were relay races of varying length and stroke.

"The event was the girls 200 m freestyle relay. As all of the girls climbed onto the starting blocks, there was a delay as the swimmer in lane three was helped onto the block; she had muscular dystrophy.

"At the starting gun, all of the swimmers leaped gracefully into the water. All except lane three; she just tumbled forward headlong into the water. It seemed a miracle to me that she could even swim at all. Her arms were mobile only from the elbow down, and she had no reach. Her legs were so weak they couldn't kick against the water.

"She had barely begun her long 25 m journey to the other side of the pool, when the healthier, more capable swimmers, touched the far wall and were on their return laps. The faster swimmers returned and touched the second relay, and these swimmers too, leaped gracefully into the water. Still this valiant, courageous young woman continued her long and laborious journey. I was surprised she even made it to the far wall.

"By that time, all the other swimmers were finished; all of the relays complete; the race was over. I expected her to end the race and climb out of the far side of the pool. Instead she turned, and with a moan of exhaustion, began the painful return to the near side of the pool.

"The true miracle that I witnessed was not just this valiant young woman's effort, but the behavior of the other swimmers, coaches and spectators. As this woman gave her all just to complete the race, these others began wildly cheering at one valiant spirit's determination to endure to the end.

"Stroke after stroke, we could hear her ragged breathing as her will to finish pushed her body as far as it could go. When she returned to the near side of the pool and ever-so-lightly touched the starting block that place erupted! This valiant spirit had won the race, even though she didn't finish in 1st place. It would've been easy for the other swimmers to mock or tear down her efforts, but they were valiant enough to recognize a hero when they saw one"

Today, I too saw a hero. Several years ago my wife was involved in a motor vehicle accident and sustained a closed-head injury. As a result, she lost a significant percentage of her IQ, and her ability to read and do simple math functions. Many people, having suffered such a traumatic loss, would have given up all hope of recovering that which they had before the accident.

Not my wife. She realized that if she wanted to be able to read and do math, she would have to learn how, all over again. Swallowing her pride, she went to the store and purchased several grade-school level workbooks on reading and arithmetic. Even though she has been doing this for some time, today I had the opportunity to watch as she struggled to learn again how to count up money, do simple addition and multiplication problems, and complete exercises to learn the difference between short and long vowels sounds.

I know it was not easy for her. Not just because she is relearning (which is difficult for anyone), but because she knows that as a woman whose children are both married, she is learning at the level of a seven or eight-year-old child. She is a hero, because like the swimmer in the previous story, she realizes that she is not in competition with anyone else. Her triumph comes from just finishing the race; from enduring and pushing through to the end.

More About Choice - And Responsibility

The wonderful thing about choice is that everyone has the ability to choose for themselves. The problem with choice is that everyone has the ability to choose for themselves, and they never seem to choose what I want!

Choice is an awesome power. By choice the Panama Canal came into being. By choice we have electric lights, computers, and all the wonders of technology. All of our modern conveniences (and even the modern inconveniences) came about because some chose to create them.

We all have the power to choose. Where we run into problems is when we try to control the consequence of our choices. Every choice has a consequence. Every intention has an outcome. Every action has a reaction. This is true in all aspects of life - not just Newton's laws of physics.

Imagine if you will a group of teenagers sitting around a campfire. I choose teenagers because I once was one, and I had an experience very close to this example. One teenager turns to the next and says, "I dare you to run through the campfire! If you are fast enough, you won't get burned!" The recipient of the dare now has a choice.

He can choose to accept the dare and run through the campfire or he can choose to ignore the taunt and stay seated. Here is the rub: once the choice is made, the consequences are out of the hands of the one making the choice. If he decides to run through the campfire and it doesn't go as planned, he has no choice about whether or not he gets burned.

If, however, he decides to stay seated, he has no choice as to whether or not his friends make fun of him and call him a coward.

Such is the nature of choice. But what about the choices of others that affect us, for good or ill? Why should we have to deal with the consequences, even though it wasn't our choice? If someone runs through a red light and hits my car in the intersection, I still have to deal with it, even if it wasn't my choice that caused the accident!

In order to understand how to deal with such inevitable events, we have to turn our attention to blame and responsibility. Many people think that these two words mean the same thing - but they do not. In fact, they are, from a certain point of view, exact opposites.

In the movie Dirty Dancing, Baby, the lead character, and her family are spending their summer vacation at a resort that provides activities, entertainment, and more. One of the entertainments is a dance show followed by dance instruction. The two star dancers of the show are Penny and Johnny.

Baby begins to spend time with the dancers and befriends Johnny. One night, when she goes to the cabins where the staff lives (which is off limits) she finds Penny in a dreadful state. Penny has gone to a clandestine abortion clinic and the results have left her in agony.

Baby runs to get the assistance of her father, who is a physician. He, of course, comes to the rescue. He spends considerable time with Penny while Johnny, Baby and others wait nervously outside. When the father comes out of Penny's room he asks who is responsible for Penny. Johnny accepts that responsibility.

The father assumes that Johnny was the father of the baby and forbids his daughter, Baby, to have anything to do with him. Later it is discovered that one of the waiters of the resort, a man whom the father thought was a young man on the path to great success, is the real father.

Here is where everything became confused. The father was looking to blame - he was looking in the past to identify the culprit. Johnny however, was accepting the responsibility for caring for his friend, Penny. He was looking forward to the future and focused on how to fix the problem, not find the culprit for it.

He could have easily said that the waiter was responsible, but he knew the waiter wasn't a responsible person. He didn't take responsibility for the pregnancy in the first place, he certainly wouldn't take responsibility for the cost of the doctor's services!

Responsibility comes from the word response. It is a word of action. When we take responsibility for our lives and the events that arise, we are not necessarily taking blame. We are taking action.

Now, the hope is that whomever is to blame will also take responsibility and fix the problem. But what if they don't? What if there is no one to blame? What then?

Over the last few decades, for some reason, society has avoided taking responsibility for everything around us, from economics to seat belts. And the reason is clear. Too many people are like Baby's father. They confuse responsibility with blame.

We can stand up and take responsibility because we choose to do so. We can respond to those situations in life - those consequences - that are not our fault and find a solution. If we wait for others - those we would blame - to take responsibility, we will wait for a very long time.

When Bad Things Happen

When bad things happen to people, they often ask the question, "Why me?" I., too, have found myself in the situation. September 23, 2009 was a day that changed my life. I was involved in a motor scooter accident that left me hospitalized for 3 1/2 weeks, and then bound to a wheelchair for another two months. I am now just learning to walk again without crutches or cane.

While in the hospital, I had a total of four surgeries; one on my left wrist, and three surgeries on my right leg. I had fractured my left wrist, and shattered the tibial plateau of my right leg. Amazingly, even though my helmet was shattered, I sustained no head or spine injuries.

My most recent surgery was just two weeks ago; I had arthroscopic knee surgery to remove torn cartilage from my right knee. At my postoperative examination, the doctor told me that he had done all he could, and that it was now up to me as to how long and how much use I would get out of my knee before having to undergo a complete knee replacement.

And here's the frustrating thing. There is no one to blame. The cause of the accident was that the rear tire blew out. This is a tire with less than 1200 miles on it with no cracks damage or other reason for blowing out. It would be easy to say "Why me?"

I have never felt such intense pain. It is said that when you reach your pain threshold, either the affected area goes numb, or you pass out. I was blessed with neither of these occurrences, and remained awake and lucid up to the moment they took me into the operating room. I would never, never wish this kind of pain on another living creature. And so now I find my self asking the question, "Why not me?"

Nobody wants bad things to happen to them, and yet it is in the difficult, even life threatening trials that we discover who we really are. We find reservoirs of strength, determination, and hope that we have never tapped into before. My body, and its capacity has been reduced, but my spirit has been enlarged.

I don't know that there is an answer to the question of why bad things happen, but they do. And in this moment we have a choice. We can choose darkness and the abyss, or we can choose to rise above mentally and spiritually. The problem is, no one can make this choice for us; even if we are surrounded by loved ones, we are alone with our own spirits and minds. The choice is ours alone.

It has been said that we live in a world of chaos. But that is not true. There is a cause for every situation, for every event, there is a reason. This is not to say that someone is to blame, because often there is no one to blame. So in asking the question why do bad things happen, we must recognize that they happen for a reason.

I believe that we as human beings have the capacity as individuals, and as an entire species, to overcome and enlarge our souls when faced with tragedy and disaster. We must recognize that suffering is part of the human experience; a very necessary part.

Without suffering, we would never know how strong we really are. Without suffering, we would not have opportunity to grow. When life is easy and there are no challenges before us, we weaken and become less than who we really are.

Nobody wants bad things to happen to them - not even me. But when tragedy strikes, as it inevitably will, choose to be more, choose to rise above - choose greatness. Decide now that no matter what happens in life, you will survive, that you will rise above; that you will not quietly go into the night. Yours is a legacy of human endurance. It is your right, and your liberty to rise above.

You Always Have a Choice

Last Saturday I was witness to a miracle. In June 2008, my son married a beautiful, wonderful young woman. I can freely admit that I would not have chosen her as wife to my son - boy, am I glad that choice was not mine to make! She is perfect for him - and he knew it.

Back to the miracle. She is, after two miscarriages, now in her second trimester with my first grandchild. There is a company that conducts an ultrasound exam which family members are invited to attend. Huddled in a darkened room with the in-laws, my wife and I got to see this new life for the first time.

Now the miracle that I witnessed was not one of modern medicine and ultrasonic imagery. It was one of choice. As many parents (and grandparents) do, they wanted to determine the gender of the baby. However, the baby was very active; moving kicking and tumbling one direction and another, and the technician was struggling to get that revealing pose.

Jokingly, my daughter-in-law said, "It doesn't want you to see!" And that's when I realized the miracle. This child, unborn as it is, was making choices. It can be argued that those choices were reactions to the pressure of the ultrasound device pressed against the womb, but the direction and frequency of movement were not directed by the technician - they were decided by the baby.

All of us, even before we were born, have been given the gift of choice. What a wonderful thing this is. We can choose for ourselves how to think and how to respond. When faced with difficulty and hardship, the one thing that remains is our ability to choose.

I recognize that there are psychological and physiological conditions that warp and distort one's freedom of choice. But even then, it is apparent that these suffering souls still make choices for themselves.

So what does this mean to me? It means that I can, as penned by William Ernest Henley, be the master of my fate; the captain of my soul. I cannot choose everything that happens to me - that would involve taking the ability of choice away from others - which cannot be done. I can always choose, however, how to respond to what happens to me.

I love knowing that I can choose how to respond to life's inevitable tragedies. I did not choose to have an accident on a motor scooter that left me hospitalized for 3 1/2 weeks and bound to a wheelchair for months afterward. I did not choose to have my father die from a brain tumor.

I did not choose my daughter-in-law.

I can, and did choose how to respond to these events, and it is in that moment of choice that I share common ground with the infinite - God, if you will.